Grace for the "normal" days
I struggled about what to write in this blog post. We are still under strict quarantine meaning I am only supposed to leave when we need groceries and Pilar can’t leave at all. I have not spoken to another person face to face (except for Pilar and to say if I’m paying with cash or card at the grocery store) for more than six weeks and while WhatsApp and Zoom are such a blessing during this time, you start to feel distant from everyone and even the world after awhile. So what was I to write about? Nothing has changed since my last post, there hasn’t been any “ah ha” moments or interesting experiences to share. I’m literally a stay at home (only leaving the house about once a week), single, homeschooling mom and since my daughter is an only child and has no one but me with whom to interact- that’s a lot of my life right now. Then my mind goes to self judgement. Why don’t I have anything to share? What should I have been doing? Am I a good Christian, a good friend, a good mother or even a good person if I have nothing new to share? Am I lazy and lacking in self motivation? What will people think of me? Then I had to have a little talk with myself and reminded myself some very important truths. Why are we so afraid of admitting that we and our lives are normal most of the time? Why this need to be so busy and to fill up our time (at least when we tell others about our day)? Why can’t I say my week or month was fine, it was normal, it was good and have peace with that answer instead of expounding on something or thinking that a lack of business means a lack in myself? The truth is I have felt extremely busy with being a mom and all the online groups and classes that I’m involved in. But it’s also just been life, “normal” quarantine life. There are good days and bad days. There are moments I feel really connected to God or others and moments when I don’t. I haven’t had any life altering, mountaintop, brought anyone to Christ moments. I haven’t been deeply touched by a book or a conversation or even by God lately. It’s just normal and the thing is that’s okay. That is what most of our lives are like (even though everyone’s normal is different) and we shouldn’t feel the need to always prove our value in life by accomplishments and the business of our activities. So what should I say about this last month? Life is good and we are extremely and in every way blessed in the what is our normal every day living. I can rest in that truth and I hope you can too.